Saturday Movie Extravaganza~

I suppose that when I actually do something, besides indulge in my regular routine of sloth, that I should document it. Or something. So here goes~

Sometime earlier yesterday morning, I was looking for showings of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on Fandango. When I was looking at the theater listings I saw that Charlie and Wedding Crashers were both showing at the same theater across from the mall. This was odd, because normally this theater gets the older movies while the giant new mall theater dominates everything that everyone wants to see. So I checked out the mall theater listings and, much to my shock and sheer delight, I saw that they were playing March of the Penguins! I love penguins! They're so cute. ^_^ I've been wanting to see this movie, but only the Egyptian theater downtown has been playing it. So, I also noted that Batman Begins was playing at the mall theater and got the stupid idea that I should go see four movies all in the same day.

So I start mapping out my plan to see all four movies with minimal time inbetween. This worked out better than I expected. I had an hour to shed my Saturday morning sloth and get to Regal theater in time to make Wedding Crashers at 11:00. They didn't list a run time for this movie, but I'd read in a scathing review that it was pushing two hours. So I expected to get out of there around 1:00 in order to make it to the Loews theater at the mall for March of the Penguins at 1:40.

I arrived at Regal at around 10:55 and ran up to purchase my tickets. Fortunately, there wasn't much of a line. There was a family in front of me of two adults and five kids that was extraordinarily loud and made me thrilled that Wedding Crashers was rated R. I decided now would also be a good time to purchase my Charlie ticket. I was then informed by the girl behind the counter that I should arrive at least thirty minutes early to Charlie because they've been selling out all the showings. I checked the paper that I'd written down all my show and run times on and noted I would have forty-five minutes to get from Loews and back to Regal before Charlie started. No problem.

And now I shall review my first movie of the day! ^_^ I have a five V rating scale, and for those of you not familiar with V, well just don't worry about it.

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Wedding Crashers - Vv
This movie was about two hours long and not nearly as funny as it should've been considering that it had Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. I only laughed out loud a few times. It was funny, but just not as funny as it should've been. The high point was that Rachel McAdams was really, really hot. Maybe I went in with my funny expectations set too high. I'm not sure, but I'd only reccommend going to see this when you'll be getting matinee prices.
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I was out of Wedding Crashers by 1:05 and on my way to the Loews theater by the mall. The only thing I dislike about this theater is that you have to go up stairs to get in. Goddamnit, people! Stairs! Anyway, no problems buying my tickets for both Penguins and Batman. Penguins was starting at 1:40 and runs 1:24, so that would give me about fifteen minutes to walk to the other side of the theater for Batman starting at 3:20. Again, no problem.

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March of the Penguins - VVVVv
This was such a fun documentary that put me in absolute awe. It's about the mating ritual of the Emperor penguins. I'm not going to go into details of the whole thing, but I was pretty stunned to see an entire species working together towards a common cause. I know documentaries are supposed to be evil and boring, but this one was far from either of those things. It's definitely worth seeing. I'd give more details, but if I told you how it all went on, you might be bored while Morgan Freeman is narrating and we can't have that! Just go see this. You'll have fun. ^_^
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Batman was next and everything was going as planned so far, but I was having a bit of anxiety about making it to Charlie on time. I was seated for Batman in plenty of time and after I'd mentally determined that I'd been sitting there way longer than fifteen minutes I asked the big guy shoveling popcorn into his face behind me to please watch my seat. I ran out and asked the theater boy (I don't know wtf you call them) what time it was. He told me it was 3:30 and alarms started going off in my brain. I told him I was in the 3:20 showing of Batman and the previews hadn't even started yet. He said he'd take care of it and fortunately after I was seated again for a few minutes, the previews did begin. I was freaking out at this point though because the movie was starting fiften minutes late and they showed at least ten minutes of crap before starting Batman. This chewed up at least twenty-five minutes of my forty-five minute Charlie buffer. I was not pleased.

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Batman Begins - VVVV
Though I didn't find this movie jizz-worthy like a lot of people I know, it was certainly a hell of a lot better than the last two Batman movies. I thought Christian Bale was great except for his gravely Batman voice. Something about it just didn't sit right with me. Katie Holmes, while she didn't ruin the movie like I had feared, was still annoying. Also, someone please tell her that nipples are distracting and to please either refrain from nipping out or wear a padded bra during scenes that are not meant to draw attention to her breasts. Thanks.

The bat tank was awesome. I didn't like it when I saw it in the previews, but I sure was wrong. There are other cool Batman tricks, but I don't want to spoil them for anyone that hasn't seen this yet.
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As I feared, Batman had set me back. When I got into my car, I now had twenty-five minutes to rush back to the Regal theater and get seated for Charlie. I was scared to death I'd have a crappy seat that was too close to the screen. Both these theaters have stadium seating, so being too close was really the only problem.

I dashed into the theater with fifteen minutes to spare only to mentally think, "You fucking whore!" because there were PLENTY of seats available. I sat down and then this white trash family filled up the seats behind and in front of me. At first, the fussy brat little girl was sitting next to me. Then, she decided she wanted more popcorn so she went to sit on her dad's lap and white trash mom scooted over next to me. She kept talking to her two white trash daughters seated in front of me because they were all exchanging candy and such. This was getting to quickly be a piss off. Thankfully, they settled down when the movie started. And, even better, shortly after the movie started, the family in the row in front of me had to leave when their brat wouldn't stop crying, so white trash mom moved up a row as well. All was right in the world.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - VVVVV
I saw some bad reviews of this and heard of people storming out of the theater in disgust, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Especially since Roger Epert gave a venom dripping review of Depp's performance by comparing him repeatedly to Michael Jackson. I'd never really seen the original though, so I was going into this with no expectations or comparisons in mind, and I had a lot of fun.

If you ask me, there was not a damn thing wrong with Depp's Wonka. He was funny, weird and bratty. Yeah, he looks funny, but he doesn't bring Michael Jackson to mind. He played it like man that had never grown out of an eight-year-old's state of mind and he got to live out his eight-year-old candy fantasies. It was entertaining and the bits about Wonka's backstory and what the moral of this version turned out to be were really quite nice.

The kid playing Charlie was amazing and Charlie's family is so sweet and wonderful you'd have to be a heartless fuck to not sympathize with them. The Oompa Loompas were funny too and I loved the new Oompa Loompa songs. This movie was just fun all around and the people bitching about it are the people going into it with a stick up their ass about the original or they're just so bored with their lives that they'll jump on the opportunity to have a dramatic reaction to something. Even Gene Wilder is being a whiny little cry bitch about the movie. People just need to get over it. It was a movie based on the book, not the original movie, and that's not a goddamn crime and nothing to get huffy over. -_-
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So that concludes my Saturday Movie Extravaganza~! I realize I'm a terrible writer and reviewer, but I also don't care. =D I had a fun day and maybe I'll start going outside more often! Oh, and here's a picture of my ticket stubs just for the hell of it.